Locker Room Talk

I was recently in the locker room after a long and lovely swim. 

“That was great!” I said to a woman standing near my locker.

“Exercise is essential,” she said.

“I’m just learning that,” I replied.

She looked at me and said, “Too bad it took you so long.”

I paused, and let her words hang in the air, took a breath, then said, “Actually, I’m really proud of myself.” 

Never mind that I’ve been a swimmer for all of my adult life. Never mind that what I meant was, I’m finally understanding how essential movement is as I age—whether I’m in the mood or not. What mattered in that moment is that a total stranger judged me so casually. What mattered more is that I wasn’t having any of it. Not by reacting or shaming her back, but by respecting myself and speaking up What she took from our exchange is up to her.

This is part of getting older I love: the opportunity to live in the world and in yourself with more awareness and respect. Knowing who you are and who you aren’t, what’s yours to carry and what isn’t. Saying no to other people’s judgments.

My daily Reiki practice helps. Reiki is a hands-on healing practice which originated in Japan. Every day I take a half hour, place my hands on different parts of my body and just breathe. It’s deceptively simple, profoundly nourishing and relaxing. Whether it’s Reiki or meditation, or yoga, or Tai Chi, or Chi Gong, somatic practices can be deeply useful in helping our nervous systems relax, giving us breathing space to decide how we want to move through the world.

Here is a writing practice for a poem that I love: “The Way It Is” by William Stafford. I think of the thread he writes about as the truth of who we are. “Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding. You don’t ever let go of the thread.”

As we age, we have the opportunity to grow, to evolve, to become who we really are. Don’t ever let go of your thread.

I wish you a joy-filled, love-filled holiday!

Love,

Dayna

Writing Practice

Here is a simple wild writing practice to William Stafford's poem, "The Way It Is".

The Way It Is by William Stafford

There's a thread you follow. It goes among

things that change. But it doesn't change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.

You have to explain about the thread.

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can't gt lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

or die; and you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time's unfolding.

You don't ever let go of the thread.

Read the poem aloud to yourself. Don't rush. Really take it in.

Take one of the following jump off lines:

There’s a thread you follow.

While you hold it you can’t get lost.

Nothing can stop time’s unfolding.

Don’t ever let go of the thread.

—or any other line or image that resonates. 

An alternate line could be: A few things I’m thinking about

Then write for 10-15 minutes, pen not leaving the page. When you are done, read it back to yourself, out loud to yourself if you wish. Thank yourself for taking the time to meet yourself on the page. Your practice is now complete.