I had a similar experience at the beach recently. As I jogged for a mile, I couldn’t wait to get in the water because then my untanned body, with its visible cellulite, would be hidden. Sure, intellecutally I was grateful to have a healthy body, and realized that although I might be obese by fashion model standards, by healthy human standards my BMI is where it right where should be. However, on an emotional level, I kept fearing that I looked like a beached whale trying to jog, totally ridiculous.

Eventually, the heat and endorphin release helped me feel more free in my own skin, and I reached the point where I didn’t care what anyone thought about how I looked. It’s also freeing to think that other people have better things to do and think about than what I look like.